Who doesn’t need to spice up their bedroom routine every once in a while? You love your partner and assume he’ll initiate sex, so it’s all good, right? Not so fast! Did you ever think about what YOUR role is…what you could be doing to turn up the heat? We did, so we asked renowned sex expert and family therapist Dr. Jane Greer. She says women COMMONLY make THREE MISTAKES in the bedroom:
Mistake #1: Comfy Clothes
I know, ladies, that you want to be in those comfortable nightgowns, those comfortable jammies, that you wear. But, honestly, the quickest turn-off to your partner or spouse are your comfy clothes. So, if you want to spice things up in your love life, shed those comfy clothes and find a ice, hot bra or a nice nighty, something you can be slinky, sexy and comfortable in that will be a TURN-ON to your partner.
Mistake #2: NOT Taking the Lead
Don’t wait to get asked to dance, meaning you’ve got to take the lead. You don’t have to wait for your partner to ask you to have sex or make love with them. Get involved, get into bed, take the lead and get your partner into bed with you. You’ll both have a lot of fun and enjoy yourselves.
Mistake #3: Criticism
It’s to be avoided at all costs. Nothing will turn off your partner faster than you telling him what you DON’T like and what you don’t want taking place. On the other hand, what will be a complete arousal and turn-on is letting him know what he CAN do to please you and what will excite you if he does it.
So, tell him what you like, wear those sexy clothes and, most importantly of all, take the lead so that you can have the fun you’re looking for!
Four Biggest Mistakes MEN Make in Bed
Sex. You’re doing it wrong. At least that’s what some women are dying to tell their partners. Even the most experienced of men may make a mistake or two in the bedroom from time to time and some end up fumbling more times than their favorite football team.
So what are the top four mistakes men make in bed?
We asked relationship expert Stacey Nelkin, founder of TheDailyAffair.com.
First up – not taking cues (whether verbal or physical) from their women.
“Most women complain that men don’t listen and it translates into the bedroom as well,” says Nelkin. “Perhaps it stems from the male ego, which tells them, ‘I know it already’ or ‘I know it better than she does.'”
Next on her list? “Not warming up the engine properly before putting the foot on the accelerator,” says Nelkin.
In other words – foreplay, foreplay, foreplay! “Insufficient foreplay can undermine the entire act of sex,” she says. “We women need it more than you guys do!”
Third – lack of grooming!
“Men can be lazy or forget that although they may actually like smells, most women don’t want their men to smell anything but clean and fresh,” says Nelkin. “Shaving and waxing help, too. (Ouch!)”
And last but not least? Staying mute.
“Use your voice,” suggests Nelkin. ” Barry White got laid more than a good Persian rug and we women can get very turned on by a sexy voice in bed–especially if it can tell us what it’s going to do.”
So what do you do if your man’s got it all wrong? Well, remember laying it on the line can be deflating–in more ways than one. “You can NEVER tell a man that he’s doing it wrong,” Nelkin warns. “You need to tell him how you like it and how good it feels when he [fill in the blank]. Give him positive feedback and he’ll learn quickly what you like and don’t like.”
Remember, Nelkin adds, we’re all at our most vulnerable when we’re naked. “Men have a LOT of ego invested in their ability to be a good lover,” she says. “They need to hear from us that they are good enough – and yes, big enough, too!”