Have your staring skills ever let you down? Have you ever tried fixing someone with a formidable eyebeam, only to have them wander over and say hi? Staring lessons are aimed at honing your staring skills until they’re as sharp as an A grade student.
Whether you want to make someone back off with a hostile glare, look lovingly at your partner or simply win a staring contest with the boy next door, staring lessons will ensure you get the right gaze every time.
This experience entitles you to a full course of staring lessons. They go for three hours each, and are run over a period of five weeks on Tuesday evenings.
The course outline is as follows:
Lesson 1: A brief history of staring. We will look at some of the great moments in the history of staring and discuss the parts they played in its evolution. Contemporary examples include the dramatic chipmunk, Julie Bishops’s stare off with Chas Licciardello from the Chaser, and Zoolander’s famous Blue Steel.
Lesson 2: Staring and its various intents – the purpose of the stare.
Lesson 3: Staring basics – maintaining eye contact, the psychology of staring.
Lesson 4: Advanced staring – intensity of gaze, how not to blink, deceptive staring.
Lesson 5: The ethics of staring – what you can and can’t get away with, recognizing scoptophobia and knowing when to stop. Lesson 5 concludes with mingling, beer and snacks, and our grand finale, ‘Battle of the Wills’, in which all students partake in a round robin stare-off.