Aaron – ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
Able – totally useless.
Adam – not very bright and not very pretty, has almost mastered hygiene.
Adolph – uses very clever humour which nobody else laughs at.
Adrian – usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
Ahsan – seems to have a lot of money, doesn’t like spending it.
Aidan – Quiet, shy, and yet the girls love him.
Aiden – Quiet, shy and yet the boys love him.
Alan – shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
Alex – cute and tall but a liar and a cheat.
Alistair – likes being tied up, and really enjoys playing with train sets
Amir – dirty, smelly, pecker is minuscule. Bad diet.
Andres – women adore him, a shame he prefers goats.
Andrew – Intelligent yet not as much as he thinks, severely stuck up .
Andy – One of the boys, always the first one up for a dare/pint/curry/moon.
Angelo – Womaniser as a hobby, will eventually settle down with a boyfriend.
Anton – Enjoys life, maybe enjoys food a little too much?
Antonio – has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain. Looks in the mirror too much.
Anthony – great guy and kind to all girls, smells of wee.
Archie – fun loving guy, but not too bright.
Arnold – puts on a brave face, but never gets the breaks.
Arthur – hung like a slave and celibate.
Ashley – Secretly shy, yet a very good actor.
Avenir – reads too many fantasy books, wears armour to bed.
Bailey – puts up too many walls and never lets anyone inside.
Baron – Reads SAS books, wants to go out and shoot something or somebody.
Barry – lights fires, pinches girls bottoms and is well hung.
Barnaby – very big, very strong and very gentle, cries a lot.
Ben – funny and can be real difficult to beat at games.
Bernard – enjoys gardening, real ale, and facial hair.
Bill – thinks he’s really popular, thinks all the girls want him … he’s wrong.
Bob – quiet and unpopular, eats with his fingers.
Bobby – very blokey, can only talk about cars and imaginary girlfriends.
Brad – short and squat, has bad breath.
Bradley – snobbish yet has no idea what personal hygiene is.
Braden – Drop out and doesn’t care, will set record for longest employee at McDonalds.
Brandon – good looking but uses girls. Not very academic.
Brendan – quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
Brendon – doesn’t do anything, complete waste of space.
Brent – class ‘A’ knob, and yet still manages to get the girls.
Brett – world wide slut and really insensitive, women love him.
Brian – mean and only thinks of himself, he’s just a very naughty boy.
Bryan – sexy, but stupid – can’t spell.
Bronsen – annoying and never grows up – has a stupid name.
Bruce – stinks bad and thinks everyone else’s name is also Bruce.
Bryce – fun to be with and will make you laugh, you’ll kill him within a week.
Byard – Delusional neurotic, but amusing during his more sane periods.
Callum – tall and geeky, very defensive.
Calvin – immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
Cameron – Australian. Big muscles.
Carl – thinks he’s funny…he’s not, falls asleep during sex.
Carlo – dark and brooding, for some unknown reason girls seem to like him!
Carson – fun to be around and really sensitive.
Casey – quiet, spends a lot of time wearing his sisters clothes.
Chad – Good looking jock – only found in American movies, no real person has this name.
Charles – can’t trust him, eyes too close together.
Chris – can’t pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use it too.
Christen – so straight he won’t even hold his own dick in the bathroom.
Christian – Gay but very sexy and seductive.
Christopher – bit of a Mommy’s boy and always will be.
Chuck – Heavy on testosterone, light on brains.
Clarence – Too shy to come out of the closet.
Clark – hilarious and always in trouble, problems with ‘jail-bait’.
Cliff – very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.
Clive – train spotter … dull as ditch water
Cole – nice, funny, and very stupid.
Colin – lies to women and blows up public buildings.
Connor – thick as 2 short planks, but can be amusing to watch.
Conor – arrogant, just assumes that the world owes him a living.
Cory – funny but ugly, probably end up running a fashion magazine.
Craig – tries to fit in – he never does.
Crispin – Ugly homosexual. Fancies himself. Successful
Curtis – needs constant mothering and reassurance.
Cyrus – Big and loud, often forgets to bathe.
Dale – effeminate and yet strangely attractive to the ladies.
Damien – spawn of the devil, but in a good way.
Damon – total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
Dan – quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.
Danny – Wears stylish clothes and has silky women’s underwear beneath them.
Dane – weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.
Daniel – enjoys root vegetables in every orifice.
Darrell – bit of an outsider, but knows a lot of secrets.
Darren – large, quiet, gentle and always smiling.
Darwyn – exercises too much, favorite word Ug
Daryl – pompous and overbearing, likes using big words that only he understands.
Dave – extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter i.e. a wanker.
David – kinda quiet and shy, but alright when you get to know him.
Dean – full of himself and thinks with his dick.
Dele – well endowed likes blondes. Looks in the mirror too much
Dennis – either very nice to girls or a faggot.
Derek – has a great sense of humour, and a blow-up doll collection.
Dillon – Stupid but well-built, women just use him for sex.
Dominic – hilarious and will do anything to please anybody.
Don – dickhead, nobody likes him.
Doug – has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
Drew – bad-assed loser who never shuts up.
Duffy – has his brains in his trousers, everything he does is aimed at getting himself sex.
Duncan – hopeless ski bum, brains shot away long ago.
Dylan – horny. bastard, who can’t sing.
Dwayne – cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
Earl – parents dressed him in cowboy gear, now he just wants to ride.
Eddie – wants too many chicks he’ll never get cos he’s an arsehole.
Eddy – old fashioned and probably too polite to get too much sex.
Edgar – serious ‘suck-up’ to the boss, brown-noser.
Edward – would rather bath naked with his team mates than with a girl.
Elis – would rather make model airplanes than have sex.
Elliott – full of himself.
Eric – has many anecdotes about the past.
Erwin – bit of a gossip, all the girls like him but only as a friend.
Ethan – used in hospitals when the anesthetist isn’t in.
Eugine – the guy everyone tries to avoid in the bar.
Evan – a little slow but sweet, sexy, and a model mental patient.
Fernando – what he loses in size he makes up for in enthusiasm and stamina.
Finn – Completely indecisive, suffers terribly with Catholic guilt.
Frank – single helix DNA and it shows.
Fraser – sucks pigs dicks & swallows the lot.
Frederick / Fred / Freddie – wants to rule the world. Loves women
Fritz – Loves playing games. Never wins.
Gareth – sweet but dresses too good to be straight. Can’t play rugby.
Garon – Big, gentle, and not very bright.
Gary – drug addict but willing to share.
Garry – forever fiddling with himself and wonders why no-one will shake hands.
Gavin – likes bondage, S&M with other men.
Gene – cheerful soul, likes to dance.
Geoff – prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
Geoffrey – a tad anal, but dresses well and looks okay.
George – barman who drinks more than he serves.
Gerry – quiet and insecure, a doormat.
Gilbert – Morris dancer, collects antique sweet wrappers.
Gilleathain – Scottish zombie back from the dead to continue scaring sheep.
Glen – the sweetest guy – really down to earth. Good teacher. Crap in bed.
Glyn – not really into boys or girls, but fond of sheep.
Gordon – big bloke in a dirty raincoat, kinda flashy.
Greame – very hard to understand, likes group sex.
Graham – will screw anything that moves.
Grahame – thinks he’s better than other Grahams because he has an extra ‘e’.
Grant – Short and ugly! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
Greg – really sweet and feels suicidally sorry for himself.
Gregor – Head of his own secret society for world domination.
Guy – Fun to be with but only just manages to stay the right side of psychotic.
Harry – Good at sport. Women love him. Blokes hate him.
Harvey – cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
Haydn – tries hard, succeeds rarely.
Heinz – Likes variety in his life. In his fifties. Overweight.
Henry – dull, dull, dull, dull … likes trains and tweed jackets, probably a science teacher.
Howard – likes small-breasted women and pornography.
Howell – sings too much, hasn’t got the voice for it.
Hugh – pretends he’s posh, he isn’t.
Ian – likes to stuff animals and dress up in women’s clothing.
Ivor – militant psychopath with homosexual tendencies.
Izzy – circumcised, but they threw away the wrong bit.
Jacob – serious and studious and boring.
Jake – shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.
Jamie – Devious scum of the earth.
James – can’t handle his beer, smells of mayonnaise and is decidedly flatulent.
Jarrod – Arrogant, stuck-up, pompous and annoying. Loves himself totally and has lots of mirrors.
Jason – Gayer than a pink fairy winning a trophy at the gayest pink fairy competition.
Jay – very sweet when you get to know him well. Which is a problem because he has bad breath.
Jaz – Loud and annoying but seems to do well with the ladies.
Jed – Good looking, fun, and not very bright (but thinks he is)
Jeff – really ugly.
Jerome – gay, but very unhappy.
Jeremy – loud and thinks that he’s all that he says he is.
Jesse – unpopular and needs to move on.
Jack – stupid but hot to the ladies, one of the lads.
Jeremiah – very clever, very dull.
Jim – sweet, has fantasies of love and affection but wanks too much.
Jimmy – Goes to the toilet twice a night, doesn’t always get up for it.
Joe – built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head. Bisexual
Joel – arse.
John – has few friends and no life – tends to kill small animals.
Jon – Not too bright will end up married to a cousin.
Jolyon – absolute raving homosexual.
Jonathan – think he’s good – he’s shit. Looks in the mirror too much.
Jordan – sexy but weird in bed. Hung like a wildebeest.
Jorge – talks slowly, dresses down, and yet nice.
Jose – hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
Josh – full of himself, fun.
Julian – used to be a wooden boy, but is now almost real with a big nose.
Junior – Not very clever, but good at football.
Justin – aggravating but lovable, insecure but successful and overweight.
Kain – one of the sexiest guys alive but very stuck up.
Kasey – has a knack of getting girls far better than anyone would expect.
Keegan – always has a bit of his last meal displayed on his clothes.
Keiran – Good looking, clever and popular … surely he must be gay?
Kev – lager lout, wears cheap and loud clothes.
Kevin – always attracts really fit girlfriends and then loses them when they see his dick!
Keith – good person to talk to when you have a problem – his is worse.
Kenneth – very, very…anything you want him to be.
Kerry – wants to be in a boy band but he’s not pretty enough.
Kirk – good looking, worries that he might be gay.
Kurt – can kick anyone’s arse.
Kyle – couch potato who eats too many cornchips.
Lance – appears to be heterosexual, but no-ones really sure.
Larry – cute, but a wannabe player with big arse.
Laurey – short and funny looking.
Lawrence – one of the lads, but very opinionated.
Lee – much too pretty to be a bloke, that’s why he stuffs socks down the front of his trousers.
Leo – Thinks he’s a real man’s man, but cries at any slightly sad film scene.
Les – Jovial in a loud way, dressed in a loud way.
Levi – same as Lee only not so pretty.
Lewis – lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser. Welsh
Liam – loud mouthed arsehole.
Louis – strange bloke but the ladies find him intriguing.
Lorenzo – fine and dresses in stolen gold.
Lucas – pretty boy, more attractive to blokes than women.
Luke – seems to be sweet.
Lyndon – good dresser and knows it, very vain.
Madison – so far up his own arse there’s no room for his boyfriend.
Malcolm – tall man with a tendency to lose his trousers, but only in male company.
Marc – Quiet and troubled, stands in the corner at parties.
Mario – loves his food and is expanding rapidly.
Marion – tough guy, has to be with a name like that.
Mark – Good looking and very clever. Every woman wants him.
Marko – Smart guy, very quick, particularly in bed.
Marshall – Never seems to age, this is because he is in fact an android!
Martin – Stud. Loves himself. Would make a good lawyer.
Marvin – hilarious, life and soul of the party, shame he smells faintly of urine.
Matthew – serious type, enjoys filing things.
Matt – the fat boy of the class, likes sweets and is full of shit.
Matty – Life and soul of the party, could get a corpse dancing.
Medan – Not too bright on the surface but with hidden depths.
Menno – built like a horse. Will only do it doggy-style.
Michael – very good looking but he’ll do anything for a girl. Doesn’t like to work too hard. Sexual deviant
Mick – always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.
Mike – strong silent type with a talent for finding excellent web sites.
Mintesh – boy racer, the arsehole who drives with the stereo too loud and the windows down even though it’s cold!
Miriam – screwed up, parents never even gave him a chance.
Mitchell – big bloke, sweats a lot, usually pure alcohol.
Mohammed – small penis, but still really enjoys playing with it.
Nathan – stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
Neil – sweet and will do anything in the world for you, great in bed but only on his own.
Niall – works tirelessly undercover for the government, good at keeping secrets.
Nick – enjoys basic sex but can’t get past the missionary position.
Nigel – wannabe librarian, gets an erection if he’s in the same room as a woman
Noel – only goes out with girls so that he can steal their clothes.
Oliver – likes men but is in denial.
Oscar – complete loser, hated by his parents.
Otis – much prefers food to women.
Owen – cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
Patrick – drunk, drunk, drunk.
Paul – cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays.
Peter – Likes sheep more than girls, will probably end up married to a relative.
Philip – homophobic, image conscious twat, likes to fuck poodles.
Poe – body odour problem that nobody will tell him about.
Ramsey – thinks he’s posh but is actually a knob.
Raymond – doesn’t like to be called Ray because it sounds too ‘straight’.
Regan – strong tough and butch, treats his boyfriends nice though.
Rehan – Spends a lot of time hanging around outside schools.
Rene – Thinks he’s a bit of a playboy, in reality more of a plough-boy.
Reynaud – enjoys big gestures and likes to be talked about.
Rhys – Overbearing, arrogant control freak.
Richard – hasn’t seen his feet or his penis in years, very fat.
Ricky – Tending to fat and smelly, not exactly popular.
Rikki – see above, but can’t even spell.
Rob – constantly watches porn.
Robert – Serious type, or put another way he’s as dull as ditch water
Robin – Ugly and not very bright, probably a teacher.
Rocco – South American drug-lord, likes goats.
Roger – acts like a wanker when drunk … Permanently drunk!
Ron – Big tough bloke with a soft spot for babies and kittens.
Rory – men are only nice to him so they can talk to his sister.
Ross – A geek role-model, happiest watching steam trains or chatting about them on line.
Roy – total loser and computer genius.
Rupert – arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.
Russell – likes to play in the leaves which makes him an arsehole. Pantomime dame
Ryan – short and stout, but popular.
Sam – wannabe sex machine.
Sandeep – complete anorak, owns a metal detector.
Sean – thinks he’s James Bond, in reality a dipstick.
Scott – has serious disabilities. Likes winter sports
Sean – has small deformed testicles and no friends.
Sebastian – enjoys dressing up, well groomed, but a bit old-fashioned
Sergio – all round genuine nice bloke.
Seth – so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
Shane – cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
Shannon – like the, river wet and full of shit.
Shaun – bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.
Shawn – small and tidy, often overlooked.
Simon – likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks bollocks.
Sonny – thinks he’s tough and proves it with young girls and boys.
Spencer – thinks everybody wants to shag him – he’s a virgin
Steve – popular and funny when looked at side-on.
Stephen – Mommy’s boy.
Stuart – loves it right up there, normally with a toilet roll and a hamster
Taylor – Gay, gay, gay, gay ….
Ted – In denial, but quite obviously gay to everyone that meets him.
Terry – small and wiry with a nasty temper.
Tim – hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
Toby – best blow ever.
Todd – impeccably dressed, wears a suit to bed.
Tom – cool but can be very arrogant.
Tomas – part-druid, likes to dance round things naked.
Tony – hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around. Tendency to megalomania
Travis – fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.
Trevor – sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
Tristen – likes to get his own way, prone to tantrums and sulks.
Troy – cute and popular.
Tyrone – Big bloke with a gay mustache, but nobody dares tell him.
Ty – small and kind of shriveled.
Usman – Trustworthy and dependable and seriously boring.
Var – adventurous type, can’t sit quietly and so is very annoying.
Venedikt – cool good looking type with a tendency to wear shades indoors.
Victor – megalomaniac with cross-dressing tendencies.
Wade – huge bloke, people jog round him and have to stop halfway for a rest.
Walter – Rich, but with no taste in anything, so the money is a bit of a waste.
Warwick – reliable, strong and caring (and a bit boring).
Wasim – Good at sport. Likes bondage. Intelligent.
Warren – cool, homosexual guy, tends to be a bit of a tramp.
Wayde – likes to be in charge, but couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery.
Wayne – wayne-ker!
Wesley – great guy and easy to not notice.
Will – wishes he were popular.
William – not very tall, but ultra-cool.
Yass – a celebrity on his own planet but quite the opposite here.
Zach – sweet and polite and twisted.
Zahid – devious and sly. Not to be trusted.
Zane – thinks he’s so very cool, but then he always gets everything wrong.
Abby – agony aunt, always willing to explain about your confused sexuality.
Ada – blue haired, smells of wee.
Adele – not only beautiful, but also very sexy.
Adie – quiet and shy, but when you get to know her .. quiet and shy.
Adrianna – eats like a horse yet incredibly scrawny, her girlfriends all hate her.
Aileen – laughs like a demented dog. likes tic tacs.
Alana – pretty and popular, but with very dark secrets.
Alexandra – popular but very loud, sometimes forgets to bathe.
Alice – likes horses but looks like Kermit’s girlfriend.
Alicia – pretty and knows it, watches herself go by in shop windows.
Alison – bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.
Alix – happiest in a uniform and giving orders, always carries handcuffs.
Alyssa – wants to be ‘exotic’, but only manages to be ‘strange’.
Alyshia – pretty sure that the sun shines out of her arse.
Amanda – I.Q. smaller than her bra size, a good shag, but she does practice a lot.
Amber – stereotypical exotic dancer, not too bright but very flexible.
Amy – Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night – Not to be trusted. Likes any man not wearing trousers
Amelia – A bit old fashioned, but still a goer.
Anastasia – overly-loud, with delusions of grandeur.
Andrea – Small breasts, small arse, drinks pints and plays a mean game of pool.
Andrina – dark and sultry, pretends she’s a Russian spy.
Angel – face like an angel, mouth like the biker-girl from hell.
Angela – Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually found hanging around toilets.
Anita – Beautiful girl with perfect hair and a body to die for.
Ann – bone idle, can’t be arsed to put an ‘e’ at the end of her name.
Anna – likes lists, will have to open an instruction manual before she even considers a sexual act.
Annabelle – Doesn’t wear knickers.
Anneliese – seems shy but in reality a serious sexual deviant.
Anneka – Sporty type, in and out of the bedroom.
Annette – She’s BIG, like really BIG!!.
Anne – Looks like a horse, can’t drive.
Anne-Marie – Gorgeous and with a great taste in blokes, has perfectly formed breasts
Annie – Drinks too much, always wakes up next to ugly guys.
Ashlee – Dyslexic and spends all day thinking about secs.
Aubreigh – Strange and mysterious and quite scary in an undefined way.
Audrie – wants to be a lesbian but hasn’t got the bottle, just goes through the motions.
Aurora – Beautiful and sexy, every mans dream ,but sadly swings the other way.
Azaria – Beautiful and exotic with the brain power of an orchid.
Barbara – Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance. Wears a lot of make up
Bea – Beautiful, sexy, original, but nearly impossible to satisfy in bed.
Beatrice – likes to be put on a pedestal so she can look down on her adoring fans.
Becky – one of the boys, knows all about football and cars, quite tall.
Belinda – Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
Beryl – Repressed alcoholic.
Beth – Empty headed, big breasted, and easy.
Bettina – Dominatrix.
Betty – pretty, sexy, and basically just very hot.
Beverley – Trapped in an eighties time warp.
Bianca – Ginger. big mouth.
Birgit – big scary woman, likes small blokes she can intimidate.
Bonnie – cheerful, but with a darker side that few people see.
Brenda – Big hearted, in fact big everything-ed.
Bridgette – Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
Bridie – Cute and old fashioned, until she gets into bed.
Britney – Falsely improved, no use to society.
Brittany – considers everyone she meets to be an inferior to use as she sees fit.
Brook – Cool name, cool Lady
Cait – Bow-legged country girl, really loves her horses.
Cali – evil, enjoys pulling the legs off young boys.
Callie – Dresses strangely, has psychopathic tendencies.
Camilla – replaces the word ‘yes’ with ‘ya’.
Cara – lazy girl, eats too much junk-food and yet doesn’t get fat – annoying.
Carie – just like the movie, a scary freak.
Carina – Looks like the back of a bus, doesn’t swallow.
Carla – Down to earth with good child-bearing hips.
Carly – Party animal until she gets too drunk to stand up.
Carol – Bubbly, life and soul of the party and the bedroom.
Caroline – Lard arse, shaves her ears, picks her nose and shops at oxfam.
Cassy – Giggles too much, bit of an air-head.
Catherine – Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
Celine – Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
Chantelle – Chavette, tracksuits and bling is all there is.
Charis – Wears big baggy clothes and does so for valid reasons.
Charli – won’t even talk to a bloke unless he’s wearing a burberry baseball cap.
Charlotte – Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
Chaz – life and soul of the party, plays the piano and then strips to her own music.
Chelsie – upmarket chav, says; “no right, I say right, etc”
Cheryl – Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
Chloe – Usually a weather-girl or a failed wannabe weather-girl.
Christine – Likes men in uniform, never warm.
Christina – Drop dead gorgeous and with a different bloke each night, well practiced.
Ciji – strange girl, sleeps with a vibrating teddy-bear.
Clare – wears dungarees and ‘prefers female company’.
Claire / Clare / Clair – Usually neurotic, gives good head but can have lesbian tendencies.
Caoilionn – looks good and talks dirty.
Colleen – dresses like a Great-Aunt on the outside, but wears wild underwear.
Constance – has an evil sense of humour, but only sometimes.
Corinne – Insanely curious about everybody and everything.
Courtney – Bit of a ‘tomboy’, rolls her own tampons.
Daisy – Virgin, works on a farm because she likes the way the tractor vibrates.
Danni – Always happy to make up a nice three-some, often brings her sister.
Danielle – Stunningly attractive, yet has a tendency to self-destruct.
Darlene – Country girl, will probably marry her first cousin and have 16 retarded children.
Davina – drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
Dawn – Gets up early, smells of chips.
Debra – Wannabe porn star
Debby – Experienced porn star.
Deborah – only really happy when tied up and being spanked..
Dee – Enormous mouth, gets a lot of work in porn movies.
DeeDee – cannot understand why no-one else masturbates in Ikea.
Denise – Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up.
Desiree – dresses well, but doesn’t change her underwear often enough.
Destiny – Chav, chav, chav, chav, in fact the epitome of chavness.
Di – Party animal, forgets to breathe when talking.
Diana – Cuddly, which is a shame because she smells like cheese.
Diane – Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle.
Dina – Always cheerful, wants everyone else to be as happy as she is.
Dolores – seems to know everything about everybody.
Donna – 70’s throw back, likes cabbage.
Dorthe – smells of herrings, obsessed with over-sized sex toys.
Edith – dresses down, but mighty hot beneath.
Eileen – terrible flirt and yet shy deep down.
Éirin – smiles with her eyes, can keep a secret.
Elaine – Rides side saddle, drinks meths and likes sharp edges.
Eleanor – Very posh, always washing her hands, but likes her sex dirty.
Elisa – fun, fun, fun … and yet underneath very complex.
Elizabeth – Born to perform, hates chickens.
Ella – Fiery temper, but when she’s not shouting she’s as cute as a kitten.
Elle – tall and beautiful, just ask her.
Ellie – Far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth.
Ellen – Could well have eaten all the pies.
Elly – enjoys cooking and always dates fat blokes.
Elma – Shy, easily dominated by men.
Elsa – Kind of old fashioned, but with beautiful big hair.
Emily – Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.
Emma – Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
Erminia – Small and graceful, slightly psychotic.
Estelle – Likes wombles, eats grass.
Esther – Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
Eve – Shy timid creature until she has a drink, then she becomes very loud.
Evelyn – Friendly and reliable, but keeps a book with everybody’s name in it and marks them out of 10.
Evonne – Much happier now that the sex change operation was a success.
Faith – Legs meet at knees, can’t shag standing up.
Fae – Small and pretty, her mind seems always elsewhere.
Faye – Wears wellies, can’t swim.
Fee – Not very bright, talks fast to make up for it.
Felicity – One of the boys .. except that she has the most enormous nipples.
Fern – Posh with a large mouth, can hold a conversation whilst giving head.
Fiona – Female mud wrestler, badly needs a shave.
Fiyza – Very sexy, she knows it and she flaunts it
Florence – pretty, but sometimes too nice .. people tend to take advantage of her.
Francesca – Likes horses, not too fond of blokes.
Francess – A lovely lady even if she is as common as muck!
Frankie – Wears leather underwear, if it’s quiet you can hear her buzzing.
Freya – only really happy when inflicting pain on others.
Gabriel – An arse to die for but pads her bra with tissues.
Gail – Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
Gayleen – Big tall woman who talks constantly about nothing at all.
Gayna – Big lady, straight, and yet still likes wearing dungarees.
Gaynor – Wannabe Lesbian but just can’t pull the girls.
Gemma – Talks too much, even during sex, even during oral sex!
Geraldine – Too posh for her own good, likes flying.
Gillian – Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.
Gina – Eternal mother, eats nappies.
Glenda – Eats children, hates smoking.
Gloria – big hair, big breasts, big personality.
Georgia – Loves her cakes, would rather have gateau than sex.
Georgina – Wants to be a man and nearly there now..
Giselle – elegant and graceful, until she moves, then clumsy and uncomfortable.
Grace – petite and pretty, fucks like a rabbit.
Grainne – Giggles excessively, sometimes wets herself.
Gwyneth – Blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
Hannah – Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
Harriet – Wears tweed and green wellies to the pub.
Hayley – Pretty, likes fast cars and slow men.
Hazel – has piercing’s, wears black.
Heather – Shags like a freight train, bit of a screamer.
Helen – Hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn and is totally neurotic.
Helena – Likes to be in charge, wears a lot of black rubber.
Heidi – The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins, hates Nazis.
Hilary – Frigid.
Holly – very sexy, doesn’t take any crap from anyone.
Ilona – loves men, especially if they’re already with somebody else.
Imogen – Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
Ingrid – Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
Iona – always carries a plastic carrier bag containing a bottle of strong cider.
Irena – Shrew and not tamed yet.
Isela – strange girl, kind of scary.
Isabel – Pretty lady who likes to be dominated, needs a man, any man.
Isobel – Motorbike gang leader, sells guns for pocket money.
Jackie – Heroin addict, sold her child to feed the habit.
Jaclyn – quiet for long periods and then every once in a while she goes nuts.
Jade – I once had a Jade, but hasn’t everybody??
Jalaine – Strange, introverted girl, secretly into plastic model airplanes.
Jamie – Gentle and yet with a very scary temper.
Janet – Massive over bite, no neck.
Jane – She’s hot and she knows it, a prick-teaser.
Janneke – small and quiet, but incredibly gifted in the bedroom.
Janice – Loud and over-the-top, tends to talk with her hands.
Janine – Always takes on the ‘mother role’ when in a group.
Jarla – Kinda like a female Ali-G only not as funny.
Jasmin – Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
Jean – hangs around with old blokes and let’s them buy her stuff.
Jeanette – everyone’s favourite aunt, and yet strangely wicked in the bedroom.
Jemma – Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.
Jen – accident prone, especially around men she fancies.
Jenni – bone idle hence the tendency to shorten long words.
Jennifer – Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
Jeri – only owns one pair of knickers and they’ve never been worn.
Jessica – Always shags on the first date and sometimes even before it.
Jill – pretty tom-boy, tends to wear men’s clothes.
Jo – fit, and not just because she goes to the gym.
Joanna – a rarity, good in the kitchen and the bedroom.
Jocelyn – Scientific type, wears sandals with socks.
Joelle – Lively, exciting, jolly and fun … sometimes too much so!
Josephine – Likes to be tied up and teased.
Jodie – pretty and clever, therefore a bitch
Jody – Dresses like a boy and eats live frogs for breakfast.
Jordon – Wears a lot of make-up, nobody knows what she looks like.
Joyce – Never stops talking … for God’s sake shut up woman!
Judith – Big eyes, big tits, big problem with balance.
Judee – dresses up occasionally, but happiest in a shell-suit.
Judy – Huge tits, married to a retard.
Julia – Innocent face, don’t trust her, she’ll steal your wallet in five minutes
Juliet – Eats too many chips, has greasy hair and a hairy arse.
July – nice figure, nice personality.
June – high pitched voice, high self opinion, and yet will screw anything in trousers.
Justine- Massive tits, likes hanging around men’s toilets.
Julie – Likes outdoor sex, preferably with a chance of getting caught.
Kacie – cute and adorable, but prone to sulking.
Karen – Nice tits, shags like a rabbit.
Karly – not too bright but always means well, pretty in a tubby way.
Katharine – sexy, but can be a bit too noisy in bed
Kate – kisses with her tongue and can hold a conversation whilst doing it.
Katherine – old-fashioned girl, giggles when anyone mentions naughty words.
Kathryn – life and soul of any party until she falls asleep an hour before the end.
Katey – Tom boy, likes her sex dirty, usually outdoors.
Katie – likes blokes and team sports, preferably both together.
Kayleigh – The Lara Croft of Essex, great in bed (practice makes perfect)
Keira – person most likely to start a cult, related to Stalin.
Kelly – smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
Kelley – not very bright, can’t spell Kelly.
Kelsey – Very clever, wears glasses, boys scare her.
Kenya – Hot and wild, likes to get wet regularly.
Kerran – tries to be mysterious, but everyone has been there.
Kerry – pretty, cute, and changes underwear once a week.
Kiersten – very sexy to look at, hard to please in bed.
Kim – small and sexy, only into pretty boys.
Kimberley – wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a bloke and swears loudly.
Kira – She’s very very hot, so it’s a shame about the lobotomy.
Kirsty – Will eat anything, can’t dance but thinks she can.
Krista – Cool and pretty, tends to daydream all day and sleepwalk all night.
Kristy – Shy until she gets drunk, prone to spots.
Kristen – Intellectually challenged, thinks Robot-Wars is cruel and should be banned.
Kristine – fairly pretty in an arrogant kinda way.
Kylie – Can’t sing but who cares … lovely arse.
Lana – Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.
Lara – Fun loving girl, but doesn’t find time for blokes..
Laura – Likes Nuts magazine, can’t drive. Dominatrix
Lauren – Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
Leah – Likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.
Leanne – Eats a lot of raw meat, most guys are scared of her.
Leaine – Seems cute until she opens her mouth and starts swearing.
Leigh – outdoorsy, which is where she likes her sex very noisily.
Lena – Eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.
Leonie – Tall girl who likes short boys, it’s a power thing.
Leslie – Likes bondage, hates men.
Leyla – Hot and horny, the girl that always will.
Liberty – free spirit and yet always there when she’s needed.
Lily – Makes a good friend, doesn’t take crap from anyone.
Linda – Teenage bride can swallow oranges whole.
Lindsey – Likes it doggy style, doesn’t do housework.
Linzi – kinda sweet and yet kinda deviant.
Lisa – enjoys money and is only turned on whilst watching porn.
Liz – Long legged and brainy.
Lizbeth – Sensible and serious, can talk without moving her lips.
Lois – Just wants to be loved but everyone seems to want to over-protect her.
Lori – cute, bundle of energetic fun.
Lorna – get’s picked on a lot for no obvious reason.
Lorraine – Constantly winges, will strip for a packet of jelly babies
Lorrie – Named after the vehicle she weighs the same as.
Louisa – sexy in a slappy sort of way.
Louise – Likes to get around, fantastic breasts.
Luci – cute and loveable
Lucy – Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.
Lydia – hilarious, should seriously consider a career as a stand up comic.
Lyndsey – wears 2 pairs of knickers, won’t undress with the lights on.
Lynn – Funny and sexy, everything a bloke wants in a woman.
Lynne – Lovely girl but with appalling taste in men.
Lynnette – Has the attention span of a budgerigar, likes pretty things.
Madeleine – Mischievous with a smile that melts blokes.
Madeline – Drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
Madusa – Really likes men, preferably grilled with a side salad.
Maggie – Train spotter, likes plaid.
Mairi – Quiet and shy but incredibly clever, secretly planning to take over the world.
Mandy – Cute and cuddly, thick as a short plank.
Margaret – Lovely mother, very generous.
Maria – Bangs like a barn door.
Marie – Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY.
Marina – No get up and go, rusty underwear.
Marion – stuffs her bra with tissue, a bit cross-eyed.
Marissa – not overly bright, falls for every chat-up line she hears.
Marolyn – Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
Marriah – doesn’t need anybody else so long as she has a mirror.
Marsha – Big butt, small brain.
Martha – enjoys cooking, a shame it’s always inedible.
Martina – Obvious lesbian and so proud of her life choices..
Martine – Can’t act, can’t sing, nice tits.
Mary – Likes men with long tongues and talented fingers.
Matilda – Likes dancing, mainly the waltz.
Mavis – seems nice until you notice the black cat, broomstick and pointed hat.
Meg – Cheesy smell, name really needs an S to start it.
Megan – quite pleasant until she loses her temper … then it’s time to run!
Meghan – Cold, hard-hearted bitch, enjoys upsetting little children.
Melanie – Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
Melinda – Trailer trash … pretty, plump, and infected.
Melissa – Eats dogs, has been in prison 6 times for burglary.
Mercedes – pretends to be posh yet enjoys sleeping around.
Meryl – Dances like an ape, doesn’t realise.
Mia – Cute, small, sexy, but mostly just annoying.
Michaela – Likes animals, should make a video with them.
Michelle – Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.
Mikayla – Petite and shy, doesn’t realise how pretty she is.
Miriam – prim and proper, kinda fussy.
Mojdeh – Not very bright but doesn’t realise … so shhhhh …
Molly – Pretty and naive, would like to be slimmer, wears clothes with too many flowers.
Monica – Control freak, but very pretty so we’ll let her off.
Monique – cool, calm, collected and probably drunk.
Morven – Very very loud and doesn’t see to realise it.
Nadine – Stunt Lady, can drink any bloke under the table! Don’t mess with her.
Naomi – Wannabe diva, more of a diver.
Nancy – White hair, pays for her real ale in old money.
Narelle – Likes dressing up as a French maid but not French.
Natalie – Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
Natasha – Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
Nell – Hasn’t realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
Nephie – Pretty, smiles a lot, not very bright.
Niamh – Quiet and cute, secretly wears men’s under-wear.
Nicci – Pretty, blonde, nicely dressed and vacant.
Nichola – quiet, studious type, wears glasses, a tiger in bed.
Nicola – Slapper, alcoholic in denial.
Nicole – small sweet and with nice hair, should wear underwear more often.
Niki – wannabe mysterious spy but not bright enough.
Nikki – wannabe lap-dancer but got no rhythm.
Nina – Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
Nissa – speech impediment causes her to hiss, fond of reptiles.
Olga – You can park a bike in her arse crack, excessive facial hair.
Olive – usually accompanied by a couple of people in white coats.
Olivia – Gorgeous and knows it, has to sew herself into her trousers..
Olwyn – stupid name, welsh, just unlucky I guess.
Paige – Normally much too serious, but giggles a lot in bed.
Pamela – Gives amazing head, made of plastic.
Patricia – Obsessive about appearances, yet denies that she’s shallow.
Pat – short and common, one of the lads and a bit of a laff.
Paula – Transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
Peggy – Wears outdated clothes and will only do missionary position.
Penelope – Pitstop queen, likes her men to be stiff.
Peta – Rough and tough, seriously into bondage.
Phillippa – Forest forager, likes wild boar.
Phyllis – Thinks sex is dirty, always washing her hands.
Polly – nice girl with really bad dress-sense, fashion disaster, it’s a shame.
Priscilla – likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
Preya – can’t cook or clean but good in bed.
Prudence – sensible girl, wears flat shoes, but will shag anything in trousers.
Rachel – Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arse cheeks.
Rebecca – Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
Rebekah – Not very bright, pretty, but sometimes forgets to bathe.
Robbie – Fun loving tom-boy with a cheeky smile.
Roberta – Takes herself much too seriously, could be a fun loving tom-boy.
Robyn – Sexy with an arse to die for.
Renee – Huge breasts, but wishes blokes would notice her mind.
Rhiannon – big and strong, prone to violence.
Riza – clever and funny, makes some blokes feel threatened.
Romany – Wild and beautiful, swings both ways.
Rosalind – Upper-class lady but works as a secret agent when the government needs her.
Rose – Can be prickly, gives good head.
Rosemary – Very shy, nearly always seen with a bright red face.
Roz – Only enjoys sex when she’s tied up and spanked first.
Rula – She measures up well.
Ruth – Has stretch marks around her mouth.
Sadie – Stand up if you’re slim, please stand up.
Sally – Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
Samantha – Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children.
Sammy – likes to be the centre of attention, clumsy.
Sandra – Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.
Sara – Air-head, with a gorgeous body to compensate.
Sarah – Likes pressed flowers and body piercing.
Sarah-Jane – ‘posh’ girl, will screw anything in a BMW.
Sasha – dresses like a bloke, screws like a rabbit.
Scarlett – stunningly beautiful and with a temper like a nuclear explosion.
Selina – Doesn’t wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
Shanice – Likes bling, not that bothered about knickers.
Shannon – Beautiful, curvaceous, should be a model.
Sharna – The original bitch queen, uses everyone she meets.
Sharon – Loud; clothes, jewelry, attitude, in fact everything.
Shauna – Lives in a trailer, has 16 kids each with a different surname.
Sheila – Group Aunt, organises stuff and people very efficiently.
Shelby – wants to be a cowboy, mainly for the horses and shooting people.
Shelly – very cute, but a bit of a soft-hearted slapper.
Sheree – Cute, but very loud! desperately needs a volume control.
Shyan – wears lots of track-suits with fag-holes in them.
Shirley – Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
Shiva – tries to fit in, but only really succeeds at the weekend S&M parties.
Shona – Librarian by day, exotic dancer by night.
Siobhan – Ginger Minger with a severe wind problem.
Sinead – Wears big knickers and a vest, but is secretly very sexual.
Sian – Does great sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
Silka – Appears shy, but secretly Miss Whiplash the dominatrix.
Silke – Only ever has sex outdoors near her favourite tree.
Simone – Used to be a shot putter from Cardiff.
Siri – Mischievous, but great fun to be around.
Sonya – Dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a “carrier”.
Sophia – Beautiful girl with long legs, a shame her arse is the size of a small country.
Sophie – Brothel manager because she’s too ugly to be a working girl.
Stacey – Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo’s.
Steffi – Closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.
Stella – reassuringly expensive, she’s worth every penny!
Stephanie – Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
Sue/Susanne – should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave. Very fertile.
Summer – wears flowers in her hair, a pretty dress, and no knickers.
Sylvia – loves the outdoors. Mad.
Taleah – nature lover, prefers animals to men.
Tamara – dominatrix and swings both ways.
Tammy – Kind-hearted and generous, particularly in the bedroom.
Tanya – Hot minx, a bit too short.
Tara – Upper class slapper, enjoys random chemicals.
Taylah – life and soul of the party, particularly naked parties.
Taylor – wears too much jewelry and not enough blouse.
Teresa – surprisingly small given the amount of alcohol she drinks.
Teri – fun and flirty, sometimes annoyingly bouncy!
Tessa – bubbly, warm and great company, also fairly easy on the eyes.
Thelma – usually grumpy, only comes to life when bitching about other people.
Therese – wears 2 pairs of knickers when she goes out … just in case.
Tiffany – likes short skirts and low tops, spends a lot of time in front of a mirror.
Tina – Face like a smacked arse, should eat less.
Tori – Lives in a hedge, can’t water ski.
Tracy – Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves kittens.
Tracey – Wears a lot of pink, wants to be a lesbian cos she thinks that would be cool.
Trinity – very sexy and yet without being too pretty
Trudy – Genuinely nice lady, everybody loves her.
Tysan – From a long line of chavs.had 11 grandchildren by the age of 28.
Ursula – Likes puppies,usually in a hot curry.
Val – usually drunk, doesn’t know where her knickers are.
Valerie – quaint and old-fashioned, someone’s aunt.
Vanessa – Beautiful, power-crazy bitch.
Vera – favourite Aunty, smells faintly of lavender.
Veronica – closet lesbian who sleeps around to prove she isn’t!
Vicky – Likes Yoga. And Women.
Victoria – everybody loves her but not as much as she loves herself.
Vikki – Drinks anything so long as it’s got vodka in it.
Wendy – works on a building site, possibly a man.
Yasmin – Talks loud and fast, thinks she’s gorgeous.
Yvette – slightly timid, until she loses her temper and then watch out.
Yvonne – control freak and yet crap at everything she does.
Zakia – Wants to be a spy when she grows up, but needs to wash more often.
Zoe – Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon.